Being the random thoughts of Greg Tito, age 29.

Announcements for my standup comedy gigs are here at gregtito.com.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Stream of consciousness personal ad

I am a MAN!

I play D&D. I play WOW. I play chess online (not very well). I go to the gym. I play basketball. I run on the subway. I run on the beach with my brother his papillon. I drive a Dodge STRATUS! Actually I drive a 94 Volvo wagon. I eat meat. I don't eat seafood. I eat fruit every morning. My cum tastes like pineapples. I think. Therefore I am. I am a secretary. I wear short skirts. I put out for cash. I wear no makeup. I just bought two books and a teeshirt from Penny Arcade. I am currently wearing a headset for the telephone. My car gets 20 mpg, IF I'M LUCKY! I just left a message that was way too long. I tend to ramble on voicemail. I just want to get everything in there. I have to make people laugh for 20 minutes straight. I don't know how I'm going to pull that shit off. I am on the 51st floor. I email too often. I think I can fly. I am Brian McKnight. Or Rick James. I'm six feet tall. Or 5'10" but I'm rounding up. My penis is six inches of white meat. I like bacon. Better than sausage in the morning. Jimmy Dean is an asshole. Do you want to date me?

i am a man...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you shave your balls? That is always a factor before I put out. B

Greg Tito said...

Why shave your balls when you can go straight to anal?

spaceguy said...

Did you drop acid this morning or something?

Anonymous said...

Greg tito....that's my Boy!!! B