Being the random thoughts of Greg Tito, age 29.

Announcements for my standup comedy gigs are here at

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Reaping in the dough

Since signing up for google's adsense program over 6 months ago, I have made a whopping $1.69.

These results are staggering:

Page impressions


Page CTR

Page eCPM


AdSense for content






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AdSense for search






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Total Earnings


(Goes to boss and quits job to blog full time)

My ban on blogging about the Red Sox is over

Would Johnny Damon shut the fuck up?

Seriously, Every article I read about him in the last 3 months has got some jibe about the Sox management not giving him a boatload of cash. Cry your eyes out that the team wouldn't give you an extra $3 mil/year for throwing a freaking baseball like a girl (Damon's got a shitty arm for all those who haven't watched his fish arm not make the cutoff guy from center for the last 4 years.) We all know you're a Yankee now. We know you sold out. We know you have to cut your hair per Steinbrenner's rules. WE KNOW. You don't have to talk abut during every freaking interview.

You know, why can't he be like Bronson Arroyo? We traded him this week for Wily Mo Pena (which is a great move, BTW) but I could see Arroyo being pissy. He's someone who actually could have a legitimate beef with the Red Sox, having signed a "discount" contract last month in order to continue pitching with the Sox. But he's been nothing but understanding. He's hurt, sure, but he's not pointing fingers or calling bullshit. Bronson knows that baseball is a business and in business, there are no guarantees. Still, it's sad to see him go, I'll miss his crazy kick and I'll never forget him taking the slap from ARod in the ALCS. I hope the Reds appreciate that they are getting a solid starting pitcher with nuts the size of Saturn.

In related news, I've been reading Soxaholix pretty much daily the last few weeks in anticipation of Opening Day. It's a great little webcomic that simultaneously romanticizes being a Sox fan and mocks said fanhood, all while throwing down the occasionally obscure literary allusion (including links and footnotes.) And it's freaking funny. This little quote from yesterday's comic made me laugh out loud in my cubicle today:

Getting careah advice from Johnny Damon is like getting how to get along with your parents advice from the fucking Menendez Brothers.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Something Awful this way comes

I've mentioned this site before but they have a slew of parody photos this Friday which made me laugh outloud a few times today that's worth another viewing. Here's a taste:

Gotta love the Schill

I have a weird relationship with Curt Schilling. I respect the man for everything he accomplished in 2004 for the Red Sox, for beating the MFY in game six of the ALCS, for subjecting himself to possible permanent bodily harm with an experimental tendon surgery and for creating the symbol of the team, a bloody red sock. Schilling has cemented himself as a pitching legend in Boston that surpasses the likes of Cy Young and Roger Clemens. Winning the first world series after 86 years trumps everything that came before.

But Schilling, the man not the pitcher, is a complete douche. He is loud, cantankerous and strongly opinionated, which are not necessarily bad traits. I can respect a guy who speaks his mind. But the problem is that his opinions are often very contradictory to mine own.

It started with him stumping for Bush in the 2004 election. Again, there is nothing wrong with speaking your mind, but it left a bad taste in my mouth when Schilling invoked his recent star status so quickly after it happened to campaign for a complete fool of a President. He can have his politics, he can be as conservative as he wants, but being a hero in Boston and then campaigning against the hometown hero in Kerry was in poor taste. Plus, Bush is dumb.

But possibly more offensive than Schilling and I disagreeing on Bush v. Kerry is this recent development. Now, I've known that Schilling played EQ from various sources and at first I was impressed, even excited that a professional athlete also enjoys the same hobby that I do. It basically proves my point that all videogamers are not mindless freaks. But it's his choices that I just don't understand. Why would he play Everquest 2 instead of playing World of Warcraft?

Granted, I've never played EQ2. I can't say firsthand whether it's a well-designed game or not. But from nearly every account I've ever read in the interblogoweb, WOW beats EQ in most, if not all, categories. I never cotton to might makes right. but here the sheer numbers make sense. At it's height, EQ was the "giant" of the MMO world, garnering 500,000 subsrcribers at it's peak in 2003. Within a year, WOW had 3.5 million subscribers. Now, generous estimates of worldwide subscribers are at 6 million.

Now, illustrious pitcher and part-time dork, Curt Schilling signs on as official spokesperson for Sony Online Entertainment, effectively tying himself to a sinking ship. I don't get it. WOW works on so many levels. You can be the uber raiding geek with all the best armor. You can PVP in RTS style battlegrounds. You can grind for various rep with the factions. You can quest nearly incessantly from 1-60. You can explore the deliciously rendered fantasy setting with no reward but the scenery. It's a game that appeals to every aspect of a gamer mind, which is why it is so successful. Every gamer can find something within WOW that they like.

Except Curt Schilling. He'd rather stump for a broken game from a retarded publisher who ruins everything they touch (SWG). Way to go Schill.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Polish Mafia

I heard about this yesterday,

Apparently, there was a huge organized crime ring in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, imaginatively called The Greenpoint Crew. 21 Polish guys were arrested for extortion, armed robbery and attempting to fence a Stradivarius violin to a federal agent.

I live just a few blocks from Greenpoint and I enjoy the occasional pierogy or two, but I'm a little amazed that these people can muster the moxie it takes to run this kind of organization. From what I can see, they're too busy screaming in Polish outside my apartment at 8am on a Saturday and stumbling down my street after one too many Zywiecs.

I've got two questions:

Why aren't people making a Polish Sopranos?
And where the fuck did they get a Stradivarius?

The jokes write themselves.