Being the random thoughts of Greg Tito, age 29.

Announcements for my standup comedy gigs are here at

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

The rareness of posting

I should be doing more of it.

But my monkey-dancing job is actually pretty time-consuming. It's hard for me to find a minute to scramble down random thoughts. But here is that minute:

  • It would suck to own a Sri-Lankan insurance company right now.
  • After a long period of the opposite, I've discovered that I like my family more than my wife's family. Does that make me a bad person?
  • Christmas is the time for giving. Or so I've been told.
  • My tree was 2.5 feet tall this year and somehow had more needles come off of it than a dancing herion addict. (a bit of a stretch on that one)
  • Has Been, William Shatner's CD is a masterpiece. Mephistopholes got it for me for the holiday and I can't stop listenting to it. Ben Folds is a genius producer and he has crafted a great record with Bill (Cpt. Kirk) Shatner. Get it right now.
  • I prefer unordered lists to ordered ones.

Okay, I'm getting looks from my supervisor. She is a four foot tall woman named Ying and she will not love me long time unless I stop typing right now.

I'm out.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

A perfect oppurtunity

Hey there, I'm applying to a position at the company that makes WOW, the almighty Blizzard Entertainment. even if you are not a gamer, you'd have to spend nine tenths of your life under a rock to not have heard of Warcraft, Diablo or Starcraft, all of which they've made in the last ten years or so.

Anyway, the position I'm applying for is to be a forum moderator on their boards. Basically, I'd get to read their forums all day (which I did at work anyway until the Goddamn Bear Stearns Squid started denying access to YESTERDAY) and posting any information from the developers or closing any offensive threads, etc. JOB = PERFECT.

Only problem is it's in California. I'm in NY. 3000 miles will not deter me from applying!

For your reading enjoyment, here is my cover letter:

To whom it may concern:

I have been an avid PC gamer since I can remember. It started on my older brother’s Vic 20 and continued through Commodore 64s, 128s, Amigas and now my home-built PC. World of Warcraft has been a passion for me since I heard about its development. Throughout 2004, I visited the Beta Board daily (once every ten minutes in some cases, lol) and read about players’ and developers’ thoughts on the game. I know the hard work that goes into forum moderation and the necessity of having a tough skin. Some players can get a little personal but I know that it means that they love the game and are concerned about its implementation. I can only applaud the current and past moderators for dealing with the community. I sometimes put myself in their shoes and imagine what I would post to a particular thread to diffuse a flame war. It’s often not far from what Tyren or Caydiem actually post.

I have an extremely varied work history which has given me many experiences that I think will make me an excellent candidate for the Online Community Representative. I come from a creative background, one that will fit in well with Blizzard’s character. Working as a producer and a stage manager has given me strong communication skills. My sense of humor allows me to deal with complaints and grievances with little or no ill will. I was the recipient of an Edward Albee Foundation Residency this September for my work as a playwright so there is no question of my command of the written word.

I would love the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my potential as an Online Community Representative. I participated in the 1st and 2nd Stress tests, the open beta and now have 3 characters above level 10 in retail with my main at about 26. I know you are only accepting applicants from the Orange County area but I am relocating to Southern California in 2005. I am available for an interview at any time, please don’t hesitate to call to set up an appointment.


Greg Tito

Think I'll get the job? What? Shut up, nobody asked you!

Friday, December 10, 2004

I am a Monkey

Dance, monkeyboy, Dance!

So I quit the position i hade last month. That was crazy, that was. I had to deal with car service invoices for a large investment banking firm. The ones that people denied because the black people (the drivers) are all crooks and cheats. I can't deal with racism on a daily basis. Once or twice a week is cool, but every day i can't handle.

Now, I do whatever they tell me. I need 5 copies of this, Greg. Staple these in such a way. Please touch my genitals, when you get a chance. It's actually pretty cool. I get to do mindless work while i think about the things that really matter in life. Like World of Warcraft.

I made some sweet armor last night. I'm a blacksmith.