Being the random thoughts of Greg Tito, age 29.

Announcements for my standup comedy gigs are here at

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

The rareness of posting

I should be doing more of it.

But my monkey-dancing job is actually pretty time-consuming. It's hard for me to find a minute to scramble down random thoughts. But here is that minute:

  • It would suck to own a Sri-Lankan insurance company right now.
  • After a long period of the opposite, I've discovered that I like my family more than my wife's family. Does that make me a bad person?
  • Christmas is the time for giving. Or so I've been told.
  • My tree was 2.5 feet tall this year and somehow had more needles come off of it than a dancing herion addict. (a bit of a stretch on that one)
  • Has Been, William Shatner's CD is a masterpiece. Mephistopholes got it for me for the holiday and I can't stop listenting to it. Ben Folds is a genius producer and he has crafted a great record with Bill (Cpt. Kirk) Shatner. Get it right now.
  • I prefer unordered lists to ordered ones.

Okay, I'm getting looks from my supervisor. She is a four foot tall woman named Ying and she will not love me long time unless I stop typing right now.

I'm out.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

A perfect oppurtunity

Hey there, I'm applying to a position at the company that makes WOW, the almighty Blizzard Entertainment. even if you are not a gamer, you'd have to spend nine tenths of your life under a rock to not have heard of Warcraft, Diablo or Starcraft, all of which they've made in the last ten years or so.

Anyway, the position I'm applying for is to be a forum moderator on their boards. Basically, I'd get to read their forums all day (which I did at work anyway until the Goddamn Bear Stearns Squid started denying access to YESTERDAY) and posting any information from the developers or closing any offensive threads, etc. JOB = PERFECT.

Only problem is it's in California. I'm in NY. 3000 miles will not deter me from applying!

For your reading enjoyment, here is my cover letter:

To whom it may concern:

I have been an avid PC gamer since I can remember. It started on my older brother’s Vic 20 and continued through Commodore 64s, 128s, Amigas and now my home-built PC. World of Warcraft has been a passion for me since I heard about its development. Throughout 2004, I visited the Beta Board daily (once every ten minutes in some cases, lol) and read about players’ and developers’ thoughts on the game. I know the hard work that goes into forum moderation and the necessity of having a tough skin. Some players can get a little personal but I know that it means that they love the game and are concerned about its implementation. I can only applaud the current and past moderators for dealing with the community. I sometimes put myself in their shoes and imagine what I would post to a particular thread to diffuse a flame war. It’s often not far from what Tyren or Caydiem actually post.

I have an extremely varied work history which has given me many experiences that I think will make me an excellent candidate for the Online Community Representative. I come from a creative background, one that will fit in well with Blizzard’s character. Working as a producer and a stage manager has given me strong communication skills. My sense of humor allows me to deal with complaints and grievances with little or no ill will. I was the recipient of an Edward Albee Foundation Residency this September for my work as a playwright so there is no question of my command of the written word.

I would love the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my potential as an Online Community Representative. I participated in the 1st and 2nd Stress tests, the open beta and now have 3 characters above level 10 in retail with my main at about 26. I know you are only accepting applicants from the Orange County area but I am relocating to Southern California in 2005. I am available for an interview at any time, please don’t hesitate to call to set up an appointment.


Greg Tito

Think I'll get the job? What? Shut up, nobody asked you!

Friday, December 10, 2004

I am a Monkey

Dance, monkeyboy, Dance!

So I quit the position i hade last month. That was crazy, that was. I had to deal with car service invoices for a large investment banking firm. The ones that people denied because the black people (the drivers) are all crooks and cheats. I can't deal with racism on a daily basis. Once or twice a week is cool, but every day i can't handle.

Now, I do whatever they tell me. I need 5 copies of this, Greg. Staple these in such a way. Please touch my genitals, when you get a chance. It's actually pretty cool. I get to do mindless work while i think about the things that really matter in life. Like World of Warcraft.

I made some sweet armor last night. I'm a blacksmith.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Demonizing Gaming

I've been reading AMNY on my way to work every morning for a couple of weeks. There is a nice man outside my subway station who always hands it me with a smile. It's a decent read, less dense than the NY Times, more insight than the Post. Occasionally, the Opinion pieces fire me up but this one took the biscuit. Hit a little too close to home. Leonard Pitts Jr. wrote about the videogame "JFK Reloaded" as "Worse than Despicable." Since I can't link to the article (There's a PDF of the newspaper here,,, article on page 8, but it will probably be gone after today) I'll try and summarize it here. He basically touts the banner of moral judgement saying that his thesaurus doesn't have enough adjectives like "reprehensible, abominable, detestable" to describe the game. Pitts goes on to comment how Ted Kennedy would be affected by this representation of his brother's murder and compare his own sister's feelings of having her husband shot and killed and dramatized in the same way. Before I get angry and start spouting off, I'll just post the letter I sent to the editor.

Please put down the thesaurus and learn to research before you blast something. I doubt that Mr. Pitts downloaded or even read a review of the "game."

Why does respect require silence? Mr. Pitts' argument is for putting the nation's head in the proverbial sand. By not looking at evil, by shoving it away, he thinks the world will be a better place. The "game" is an attempt to look closer, to study, much like the recent network TV documentary which used computer animations and rifle tests to determine whether the shooting could actually happen. Pitts also argues that the event happened too recently for such investigation. Perhaps if such a "game" was released another forty years later in 2043, we'll have graduated past Pitts' brand of muckraking. See, I can use a thesaurus too.

The funny thing is, no one would notice this "game" if it weren't for morons like Mr. Pitts. Traffic's "game" is targeted at the audience of Kennedy Assassination enthusiasts and conspiracy theorists. Your average gamer (myself included) would not play or even know about a game like this because of it's niche audience. Unfortunately, (or fortunately for marketing reasons) the game has piqued the media's attention because it puts the player in Oswald's shoes.

This is another attempt to demonize the videogame industry and gamers for being godless heathens. I frantically await the day when the mainstream media and the Christian Right realizes that not every one of over 145 million Americans who play games regularly throw rocks at cars or shoot their schoolmates. Videogames are as much a part of our culture as books, movies or television. It's time for them to be free of the stigma of "The Corruption of Youth" that these other forms of media have.

I think that sums it up. Let me know what you think.

More Contests

I am applying to the Hollywood Screenplay awards today for my screenplay called "Work." I wrote the script over the summer but it came from an idea I had over 8 years ago. The first 2o pages I think were written back then and I've just now pushed forward and finished it. This is the first time that I've entered contest so heavily. This will be the 4th Contest I've entered it it in. I'm trying to get it out there.

Anyway, Here's some of the crap in the application. You might interested or you might steal my idea. It's protected by the WGA so BACK OFF.

Title: Work
Synopsis: In 1994, a high school graduate, Brad, begins working at two summer jobs, an affluent beach club and a summer stock theater, in order to pay for college. At the same time, Brad begins seeing two different girls, a sexy blonde named Heather and an earthy tom-boy, Amanda. As the two jobs and the two girls begin to conflict for his time and his sanity, Brad must take his stoner friend’s advice and choose one girl and one job before he goes to college and/or loses his mind.

And here's a little blurb about me I put in the comments section:

I was trained as a playwright and have written 3 full length plays and several short pieces which have been produced in New York and Connecticut. Through my theater and film production company, Cofounder, I recently produced a short film called, “The Barista” shot in Brooklyn detailing the life of a coffee shop worker. We are currently in post-production. In September, I was in residence at the Edward Albee Foundation’s Barn in Montauk where I finished writing and fine-tuning “Work.”

Shameless, I know, but if I don't plug myself, no one else will.

Off to the Post Office of Fame!!!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

A gamer's lament

Just posted this on the World of Warcraft forums:

All I think about is WOW.

I wake up, take a shower and think about what
quest I was working on when I went to sleep (last night was a failed Shadowfang

I get dressed, thinking about how long it will be
before I can log on (9.25 hours).

I ride the subway thinking how I'd like to take
the Tram someday (i'm Horde right now) after release.

When I get to work, all I do is read these forums,
check out thottbot for anything I couldn't figure out last night and maybe post
something here. Literally, that's what I do all day.

I get home and before I even take off my coat,
I've double clicked WOW and entered my password.

Then I take a deep breath, satisfied, knowing that
I'll have 6+ hours of uninterrupted WOW time. That is, until the wife calls me
to bed.

And this is only the beta. What will it be on
release? I'm going to have to figure out how to install WOW at work. Or I'm just
going to have to quit.

Falwent, Level 21 Undead Rogue, Test Server 13

It's funny cause it's true.

Friday, November 12, 2004

I love Eugene O'Neill

Apparently from the entry fee check being cashed in my checking account, Eugene has seen fit to accept my application to their little shindig. Seeing as I didn't send it out until Nov. 1st (the deadline was Halloween, how freaky is that?) this is very gracious of them.

It would be really cool to go to the conference and work on Creation Play.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004


That last post was at 4:20 dude!

I am so excited to go home and smoke some illicit drugs and play World of Warcraft. it's the open beta and I am going to open STONED.

I post, therefore I am.

I started a new job today.

I sit at a computer, looking at invoices for car services. Then I go through these invoices and correct any information that may be missing/wrong. It is endless mouse button clicking and copypasting. There are women chattering around at all times and an seemingly unending supply of candy and chocolate.

Oh, and I have a college degree.

Monday, November 08, 2004

I am never going to speak of politics ever again.

I think the subject says it all. In New York, even almost a week later, there is a feeling of defeat and despair on every face I see.

It should never have happened. We will feel the repercussions of this polarizing of our nation for years to come. Soon, the US will be a religious state not unlike the nations of Islam that we regularly antagonize.

But forget it, I don't want to talk about it. I will ignore the pain like I ignore my irreversible mortality or that nagging pain in my left side or my addiction to cigarettes. If I don't recognize it, the pain will eventually go away.

Hilary in 2008.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

The Day The Earth Stood Still

Get out and fricking vote. Right now. Leave work and do it. Kill your boss and rape his children then vote. It's the right thing to do.

But seriously, if I get one more email forwarded to me about my duties and rights as a voter, I'm going to puke. If I get one more condescending question today, "Did you vote? Did you vote?" I mean, jesus, we're preaching to the choir a little bit. I live in New York. Most of my peers are Democrats, most of them are active ones too. So the emails and the condescention are all going to waste because, duh, you're not going to sway democrats to go MORE democratic.

Mephistopholes and I were going to get up early today, vote together, then have breakfast together. I snoozed for about eight 9 minute intervals until it was actually the time I had to get up to go to work. I struggled down the subway stairs and made it to work only five minutes late.

My wife and I: Democracy In Inaction.

Sunday, October 31, 2004


Since the Eugene O'Neill Center is NOT going to read this, I might as well post it here. You might want to know who I am and what better way to do that than write a biography(sorry, Eugene wants me to call it "biographical statement":

Biographical Statement: Greg grew up in East Lyme, CT, just a scant few miles from the Eugene O’Neill Center. He attended the University of Connecticut and received two degrees there, a B.A. in English and one in Theater Studies. Playwriting was his focus, and he took as many classes as possible with the playwriting professor, Dana Sue McDermott. In 1999, his third year at UConn, Greg wrote and directed his first one-act play called Deanna, which detailed through impromptu story-telling the chance discovery of several men that they all had relationships with the same eponymous woman. In his final semester in school, Greg’s first full-length play, Online, was produced at the University, again under Greg’s direction. Online told the story of a college senior who, frustrated with unrequited love, finds his dream woman in an internet chat room and must deal with the social consequences of having a meaningful relationship with someone he has never met in person. After graduating in 2000, Greg moved immediately to New York City and began working in Off-Broadway theater as a carpenter and a stage manager. He was happy to join Actors Equity and be involved in the production of many great shows including Nocturne by Adam Rapp at New York Theatre Workshop (2001), the workshopping of Martha Clarke’s Belle Époque at Lincoln Center (2004), and The Harlequin Studies by Bill Irwin performed at the Signature Theater (2003). Throughout this time, Greg wrote many short stories, a short film called This Place, and collaborated on a screenplay based on the stories of Nicolai Gogol. Cofounder, a theater and film production company consisting of many UConn graduates, was formed in 2002 and through the company, Greg produced Seduced by Sam Shepard, Chemical Imbalance, a short play festival held in 2002 and 2003, and several fundraising events. Playwriting was still Greg’s passion, though, and he left stage managing to concentrate on writing in late 2003. A reading of his new existential comedy, Creation Play, was held in January, 2004, at the Kraine Theater on East 4th Street. The reading, directed by Oliver Butler, was received very well but Greg knew that the play was not yet complete. He decided to set it aside for a while and concentrate on other projects. This past summer, Greg produced Cofounder’s largest project to date, a digital short film called The Barista, filmed largely in Brooklyn. Greg received a residency at The Edward Albee Foundation’s Barn in Montauk, NY, and he spent the month of September working on a full length comedy screenplay, called Work, and an untitled play that takes place in New York City after most of the human race is decimated by war and plague. Greg will celebrate his one-year marriage anniversary in November to actress and singer, Erin Logemann, who can be seen on television and on stage in New York.

Eugene O'Neill is an asshole.

I was getting together the application to the Eugene O'Neill center for the 2005 Playwright's Conference. The Rules state that the app. needs to be postmarked by October 31st. Okay, easy enough. It's a little creepy that it's on Halloween but whatever. I finished the app. on Friday, made copies etc. I couldn't send it on Saturday because I had other obligations that took up ALL of my day. (I had to help my friends Ian and Dan move into a new apartment in Murderville, Brooklyn. So far, they have not been mugged or killed.) So, I get home last night and tell Mephistopholes how the only I have to do the next day is send out the application.

"But it's Sunday. You can't postmark anything on Sunday."

FUCK! Why the fuck would they put a deadline on a goddamned Sunday when apparently everyone but me knows you can't postmark anything on Sundays? Fucking elitist fucks! I am a freaking idiot. Does anybody know how to get something postmarked on Sunday? I am so goddamn screwed. And frustrated and mad.

I have to go kill something.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

A post to end all posts

Or begin them actually.

I am Greg. I live in NYC. I am a man.

I've declared that I'm a writer on my tax returns for the past two years although I've never received any money from said writing. I thought that forcing myself to self-publish on the interweb would be a way to keep my words coming out onto the page. So far, the last two minutes has definitely kept me writing.

A bit about me: I am a temp at a Bear Stearns and spend most of my day on the internet. I have been married for just under a year to a fairly nice and mostly beautiful girl named ... Mephistopholes. (That's not really her name but that's the nature of these web-logs isn't it? You have to keep SOME anonymity.) I like Tanqueray and Tonic. I play video games, both on this machine and the XBOX my friend bought me for my birthday (you'll meet him later). Lately, I've been watching the fourth season of the Sopranos on a DVD I got from my friend. (I don't really like the episodes but I can't stop watching them. There is about 1 episode every 7 that makes up for their consistent boringness.) I read a lot of fantasy books. I've been into Robin Hobb lately and am waiting for her latest to come out on paperback so I can devour it.

Oh, I've also produced a short film called The Barista. We are in post-production for it now and we hope to get it out to all the festivals we can.


That's it for now.

Peace, I'm out.

This is me in Montauk, NY. Posted by Hello